bless their hearts…

This is the reason we had a mercy rule in elementary school P.E. games…

rollerblades are clearly the answer…

Ok, so I just read this article about the problems they’re having with the Olympic torch relay, which is currently passing through London and Paris. Apparently the theme of the relay is “Journey of Harmony”, which doesn’t really seem to be the case, what with the protesters trying to snatch it away and douse it with fire extinguishers and what not. To wit:

Only weather has previously succeeded in snuffing out the Olympic flame, just twice in its history. Today French officials managed it three times. continued…

My favorite part of the whole escapade is the security plan devised by the Paris police:

The plan was for the torchbearers to be encircled by several hundred officers, some in riot police vehicles and on motorcycles, others on rollerblades and on foot. Closest to the torchbearer would be the Chinese torch escorts, with Paris police on rollerblades moving around them. French firefighters in jogging shoes would encircle the rollerbladers, while motorcycle police would form the outer layer of security.

I love the sound of this plan, and I think police on rollerblades is an idea that should be deployed much more often…

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7 unrelated things

1. I love when I actually care how a sporting event turns out and it turns out that way. Not that I’m a big Giants fan, I just find the Patriots annoying. So full of themselves. Also, it was nice for Eli to get out of Peyton’s shadow for a bit. Although, where does that leave Cooper?

2. What was up with that short-sleeved hoodie that Belichick was rocking? What’s the point of that? It’s like wearing a short-sleeved suit jacket or something. If it’s cold enough for a sweatshirt, it’s cold enough for sleeves. Just push the sleeves up like a normal person, dude.

3. The library just notified me that the book I requested is available for pick-up. They provide such amazing service. How great is it that I ask for a book (just fill out a short, online form from the comfort of my home) and they either buy it or get it from another library for me? Use your library, people…

4. I got an iphone this weekend. It may in fact be the coolest thing ever. Every time I look at it I expect it to emit a heavenly glow and for a chorus of angels to start singing…




5. When I was putting on my pants this morning, I noticed that the laundry tag says “Machine wash, gentle cycle, inside out”. What? They are plain, black, cotton, normal pants. What possible harm could befall them via a regular cycle right-side-out washing?




6. I made granola last night, which turned out totally tasty. I put in oats, wheat germ, sunflower seeds, rice krispies, and almonds and sweetened it with honey and maple syrup and brown sugar. It baked up all golden and crunchy and delicious. And, it’s super easy. It’s like dump in ingredients, mix, dump on cookie sheet, bake.
   




7. You know that part of the theme song to The Jeffersons where it goes “fish don’t fry in the kitchen; beans don’t burn on the grill”? What’s that about?

How did that happen?

Holy crap! The Giants actually won. Go Eli!

Sent from my iPhone

Did anyone else hear the taped phone call between Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee? I really don’t get it. To me, it makes Clemens seem more guilty. Whenever McNamee asks him “what do you want me to do?” (which he does like 20 times), Clemens never says “just tell them the truth”. Isn’t that what an innocent man would say? He also never asks”why did you lie to the commission?” or any variation thereof .

His lawyer is trying to say that Clemens was carefully trying to make sure it wouldn’t seem like he was coercing a federal witness, but dude, come on. I understand that he shouldn’t say “I want you to tell them I didn’t use steroids” or “I want you to tell them you lied”. You can’t tell a witness what to say (and if he is guilty, that would be telling him to commit perjury). But saying “just tell the truth” really couldn’t be construed as coercion. It’s what he is supposed to be doing anyway.

It’s just such a weird conversation in general, with all the talk of various dying children and missing children’s funerals because of press conferences, and people getting ulcers. In fact, why would these 2 people, who are in fact suing each other even as we speak, get on the phone in the first place? If someone accuses me of a crime and ostensibly ruins my career and shot at the Hall of Fame, I’m really not that interested in chatting with him. Ditto a rich, blow-hard athlete who is suing me for defamation.

And if the whole point of the conversation was for Clemens to try and clear his name by getting McNamee to admit on tape that he lied or whatever…well, that didn’t happen, so why would you release the tape? It just makes you look sketchier. And kind of dumb.

Did anyone else hear the taped phone call between Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee? I really don’t get it. To me, it makes Clemens seem more guilty. Whenever McNamee asks him “what do you want me to do?” (which he does like 20 times), Clemens never says “just tell them the truth”. Isn’t that what an innocent man would say? He also never asks”why did you lie to the commission?” or any variation thereof .

His lawyer is trying to say that Clemens was carefully trying to make sure it wouldn’t seem like he was coercing a federal witness, but dude, come on. I understand that he shouldn’t say “I want you to tell them I didn’t use steroids” or “I want you to tell them you lied”. You can’t tell a witness what to say (and if he is guilty, that would be telling him to commit perjury). But saying “just tell the truth” really couldn’t be construed as coercion. It’s what he is supposed to be doing anyway.

It’s just such a weird conversation in general, with all the talk of various dying children and missing children’s funerals because of press conferences, and people getting ulcers. In fact, why would these 2 people, who are in fact suing each other even as we speak, get on the phone in the first place? If someone accuses me of a crime and ostensibly ruins my career and shot at the Hall of Fame, I’m really not that interested in chatting with him. Ditto a rich, blow-hard athlete who is suing me for defamation.

And if the whole point of the conversation was for Clemens to try and clear his name by getting McNamee to admit on tape that he lied or whatever…well, that didn’t happen, so why would you release the tape? It just makes you look sketchier. And kind of dumb.

7 unrelated things

1. I’m coming off a 2 week Christmas vacation. I haven’t gotten that much time off for the holidays since I was in college. Even when I worked for the university, I still only got a few days off, despite the fact that the students were gone for damn near a month. Vacation is good.

2. I was right about Smells Like Teen Spirit (see previous post for details…)
3. It’s cold outside. Now, I realize that cold is a relative concept and many of my yankee/ex-pat friends will not cry tears for my Floridian winter, but the high today is only supposed to be 47 or so and it will be down into the teens tonight. That’s cold around these parts. Although it is sunny and blue skies abound, which beats dreary, rainy cold.
4. Did you know that the University of Central Florida in Orlando is the 7th largest university in the U.S.? That doesn’t seem right.
5. Lynne Spears is releasing a parenting book? Through a Christian publishing house? Words fail me…
6. There’s a new version of American Gladiators scheduled to premier this week. My guilty admission: I loved that show. Actually, I will generally watch any of those competition type shows…World’s Strongest Man, lumberjack games, Pro Bowl Skills Challenge…I’m really not discriminating. I blame too much Battle of the Network Stars and Laff-A-Lympics in my youth.
7. I should have double good luck these days. Not only did I eat my Hoppin’ John yesterday, but I also remembered to say “rabbit rabbit” yesterday morning. Of course, now I have to go knock wood so I don’t jinx it…

Hey Hey Tampa Bay

“It took 32 seasons and 1,865 tries, but the Bucs finally returned a kickoff for a touchdown Sunday.”

That’s right, ya’ll. We’ve won a Superbowl since the dark days of…say all of the 1980’s and 1/2 of the 1990’s, but we’ve never run a kick-off back for a touchdown. That seems so incredible, I mean other teams have done that several times in a season. Alas, the Bucs were never able to until yesterday.

How about a rousing chorus of “Hey Hey Tampa Bay“? The Bucs know how to shine, indeed. (Or, if you prefer a more modern ditty, here is the updated version. Or perhaps you would fancy the hip hop classic (although somewhat dated) “Welcome to Ray Jay“?

Also, how random is it that the same guy who owns the Bucs also owns Manchester United?

He’s indicted, and it feels so good…

Barry Bonds…indicted.
Woo-hoo!

Every time I see or hear about the dude, I’m reminded of something my friend Rakes once said about him (which of course, he won’t remember he said, but I do and trust me, he said it)

“I’d really like the opportunity to kick that guy off of my front porch”

Word.

Yay Tommy

It seems to be the season for sports related posts. Tom Glavine was always my favorite Brave…he was just so dreamy. I still have a soft spot for him, even thought he’s a Met now and I no longer really follow the baseball. I was happy to hear he got his 300th win (and apparently he may be the last to do so)